It’s complicated! You always say this when someone asks about your relationship, right? But why do you do that? Well, they don’t give a damn about you.
It may be the way they ignore you that you find attractive. Well, that’s a different thing altogether. Have you ever tried ignoring the person back who has been ignoring you and hoping that they will notice you this time?
Don’t lie, we know you do that. Well, it’s absolutely fine! But what is not fine when you and your partner are in a committed relationship, and suddenly they are behaving hot and cold.
If you ask anybody, they’ll say to leave the person and might make you think that they are cheating on you. Hold on! Take a deep breath and relax. It might not be what it looks like. You just need to dive a little bit deeper and try solving the problem rather than running away from them.
Getting their attention back requires certain changes in your behavior. So here are the things that you can do to get their attention back and redeem your healthy and happy relationship.
Table of Contents
Look for the Reason First
You never know what is causing this hot and cold behavior, right? So, it wouldn’t be the right decision to end a relationship just because things aren’t going well at the time. So, the best way to know the reason, sit and think about why your partner is ignoring you.
It might be the terrible fight you guys had two-three months back. Try to find out whether it’s your behavior that hurt them. If yes, the best way to get rid of this situation is to apologize for your rude behavior.
Hopefully, things will resolve. If it does not, you need to consider that there is something more going on. What do you think? Is it something wrong with them or with you?
Well, it is also not good to blame yourself every time, but yes, if you come to know that your behavior is the reason behind their indifferent behavior and that what you did was wrong, you can change it for the better.
But always remember that if they are imposing a belief on you and asking you to behave in a certain way because they like it, don’t entertain this kind of attitude.
Give Some Space
Giving space is as important as giving your partner the needed attention. But what’s the connection between giving space and ignoring his partner? There’s a direct connection.
So, things work pretty differently in a relationship. It is different from what you see in movies and series. This is the reason you often feel like a hopeless romantic.
You know, the relationship is not always about hanging out together, cuddling, going on dates, or sending each other gifts. It’s not even about being together all the time.
You have to give space to the person so that you guys can grow individually and focus on your personal life, which does not include the person you love.
It is one of the most prominent reasons behind relationships getting boring after a few months, and we start blaming love and calling it nothing but complications. It’s us who are actually making things complicated.
So, here’s the thing, you need to be a little bit more conscious about yourself. If you and your partner hang out most of the time, it will eventually harm you, and you might feel like feeling nothing.
So, to begin with, just give them space. Stop calling them 10 times a day and keep it to 2 times and see whether they notice or not.
If they do, they will come to you and talk things out. If you see that they are starting to behave well and well. You have recognized the reason. Just keep it that way.
Engage in Activities for Yourself
Engaging in activities that give you happiness and allow you to learn something is important, not only for you but also for your relationship. The best thing to do is redeem your hobbies.
You must have stopped doing and shifted your entire focus to your relationship, right? You know, when you don’t do something for yourself and spend time with your partner, you are also not allowing them to do things that they love.
This way, they are becoming frustrated, and they directly don’t wanna call you the reason behind their frustration.
So, help yourself out and engage in some fun activities and see the difference between the two situations.
This step can lead to two situations; in one, you both will get rid of the frustration and start spending more quality time.
Does it mean that you need to ignore your partner? Absolutely not. See, things are pretty simple. If you don’t spend your time on something creative or anything all by yourself, what will you guys talk about?
At some point, there will be nothing to talk about, which will ultimately make a gap between you two.
Change Your Blaming Nature
Wait! We are not saying that it’s all your fault. We are just asking you to be open to accepting that you are not always right.
You need to stop blaming the other person for everything that happens. If you think that you are always on the brighter side and it is your partner who is always behaving wrong with you.
As we have already told you, you need to acknowledge the fact that it might be your past behavior that caused them to behave in this way.
When you get into a relationship with anybody, it is your responsibility that you don’t hurt the person by doing something inappropriate. Even if you do it unintentionally and you recognize that it is very simple to ask for an apology.
If the person is open enough to forgive and work on things, you are on the right path.
Talk Things Out
The best and simplest way is to sit together and talk things out. Trust us! It’s easy and far more convenient. One of the most prominent mistakes we make is not talking with the person and assuming everything on our own.
What are the other mistakes we make? We don’t talk to the person and talk to someone else about it, which makes it more complicated.
See, it is okay if you feel like talking to your best friend about your relationship, but you also need to consider the fact they are not well aware of the situation.
So, what will happen next is that they will give advice that might not be right, and you will end up doing something to be regretted later.
So, whenever you feel that something is not right in your relationship and you do not like the behavior of the other person, go up to them and talk. This is the best you can do.
This way, your partner will also know that you are trying to fix things and want to make an effort. They will also open up if they were hesitating before.
Clear communication leads to better understanding and more durable relationships.
See if the Situation Gets Better
After trying the above-mentioned things out, you also need to see and acknowledge the changes. Wait! We are not asking you to be a Disney princess and find the prince in the beast.
Be a little bit objective when it comes to solving a problem in a relationship. If it doesn’t happen, don’t need to feel left out or depressed. It is better to walk out of an abusive relationship and lead a good life alone.
Now, you must be thinking that if the person doesn’t hit you physically, it’s not abusive. But actually, it is. Emotional abuse is as serious as physical abuse.
Start Respecting Yourself
Though it sounds like it has nothing to do with your relationship or partner, it is actually very close to your problem. Moreover, you can call it the very base of any romantic relationship.
You know, people treat you the way you treat yourself. To be very specific, you need to start giving value to yourself first. If you don’t, the other person will never be able to give value to you.
Suppose your person is ignoring you, and you keep letting them ignore you and don’t take action. They will further believe that you don’t value your feelings. They might keep doing it rather than realizing it.
When you treat yourself with respect and be confident about your needs and everything. You set an example in front of others about how they should treat you. Do not entertain any behavior that you don’t appreciate.
It might be the fact that the situation you are in today is because of the way you let go of things that you shouldn’t have done. So, start fixing that form today!
Have the Feelings Changed?
Don’t panic! It’s all fine. It’s okay for people not to feel the same. You know, one truth that nobody has told you is that every relationship in this world comes with its expiration date. It can be 1 year, 7 years, a few months, or forever.
It depends on the person whom you gave your heart to and whether they are able to take care of that or not.
You need to know that it is better to be with someone who loves you just as you do love them. It does not matter how much you love them. If they don’t feel the same anymore, how would you be able to stay happy?
So, this is very important to find out whether they have lost feelings for you and they have been trying to tell you this through their behavior.
But how to find out? Just ask them, and before you do that, don’t forget to assure them that if they are thinking about a break-up, it won’t hurt you, and they can say it clearly.
It is very natural for people to ignore what they don’t love anymore. So, take it as a sign.
Don’t Be Afraid to End It
If it ends, it’s okay. We all have seen the most beautiful couples ending their relationships, Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik, Taylor Swift and Harry Styles, and many more.
All these couples were so much in love, but eventually, it ended. Some ended peacefully, and some a little bit roughly. But did it change anything? Nope! They are absolutely doing fine both in their professional and personal lives.
So, let it be. You cannot trap someone just because you love them. Remember, if God has removed a person from your life, he’s going to give you something better and bigger in life.
Don’t Have Bizzare Expectations
Don’t have bizarre expectations. If you think your boyfriend should come up to you in the middle of the night and surprise you with flowers or plan an expensive date. These things are nothing but bizarre expectations.
We aren’t saying that you should not expect anything. But at the same time, you also need to realize that all these things are happening only in your mind. Your person doesn’t know anything about it. So, how will he be doing that?
There’s one way you can do that. First, communicate about your expectations. Second, have some realistic expectations. This is high time now that you need to learn that movies and real life are completely different.
So, if they didn’t call you the entire day and explain why at the end of the day, it’s not like he is cheating on you. A person being busy is not something suspicious.
So, accept that in real life, things are different.
Ending Words
So, the moral of the story is to find out the problem and solve it. Assuming things and hurting yourself, again and again is gonna take you nowhere.
Remember, relationships are about two people. If the other person is not giving equal effort and gaslighting you, it is better to leave them. Have your boundaries and needs clear, and try to follow them.
It becomes healthy for you and your partner’s lifestyle.
