If you are in an abusive relationship and suffering for a while. A toxic relationship can drain you emotionally, mentally, and even physically. If you don’t want to give up on the other person and you still think you can reverse the situation.
I know you must be tired of people telling you to just give up and let go of the relationship. However, it is not that simple for you to simply quit on someone you once thought of spending a lifetime together. So before things go out of hand, you need to take action to fix the relationship.
You must have seen the good side of that person, and that is why you must have been initially attracted to them. You know who they actually are, and you just can’t figure out how things turned upside down. Where did you go wrong?
Everyone deserves to be free and to be treated well if you are confused about whether to leave or if your relationship deserves a chance.
We’ve got you covered; here are a few steps that you can take and see for yourself if your relationship deserves another chance or if there is simply no hope left.
If you are looking for the answer to what it takes to fix an abusive relationship. You are at the right place; today, we will be discussing steps that can help you identify the cause of the problem, and you will have the answers you need.
Table of Contents
1. Willingness to work on your Relationship
To begin with, firstly, you need to understand whether you and your partner are willing to work together on this relationship or if it’s just one-sided. You need to have open communication with your partner and talk it out.
See whether they are willing to put effort into this relationship because things can only improve if you both mutually try to work on this. Otherwise, there is no point in keeping on trying. You will only end up disappointed and frustrated.
Do not normalize abuse in any way. Moreover, you will find yourself stuck in a never-ending cycle of abuse and toxicity. Make sure your partner also realizes that there is a situation and problem that you both need to tackle together.
2. Identify the Underlying Cause
Abusive behavior can be the consequence of various causes. However, you need to understand what triggers your partner. Why have they started treating you like this?
Although there is no justification for any abuse. However, sometimes it can be sensitive issues like childhood trauma or any other past experience that might have triggered them. Usually, this kind of behavior is also seen in a person who is raised by abusive parents. In such a situation, you need to be the bigger person and understand the psychology of your partner.
They might be suffering themself and have unintentionally taken that emotional outburst on you. While dealing with such a situation, you need to have a lot of patience and emotional understanding.
This can be draining, but helping your partner out and understanding their emotional scars can strengthen your bond in the longer run. Moreover, don’t hesitate to go for professional help and therapy.
There are many couple therapy sessions that you can go to and discuss what you are going through.
3. Do not Normalize the Abuse
If there is any problem, you need to understand that the first step is to accept and admit that you need to fix this. You should make the other person realize that this toxicity is not normal, and they need to be held accountable for their actions.
Never think that going through any kind of abuse is normal in a relationship. No one has the right to be disrespectful towards you, and you must take a stand for yourself.
So you can only get to the solution when you know that there is an issue to deal with. However, if you normalize being toxic. It will eventually become a habit and nature to mistreat you.
Moreover, your abusive partner should know that they cannot misbehave with you in any way. Never tolerate any kind of disrespect or mistreatment in the name of love.
You have to understand that no relationship becomes abusive overnight. It usually begins with mild and harmless statements, which we generally avoid or simply laugh off.
Such behavior gives another person a feeling that it is okay to treat you like this. Therefore, you should take a stand for yourself and make them realize that you are not going to tolerate any kind of ill-treatment, even if it’s in humor.
4. Break the Loop of Emotional Abuse
When you love someone, you have this tendency to keep on hoping that the other person will change and the situation will get better. Somehow you find yourself trapped in a never-ending loop of emotional abuse without even knowing.
You will feel trapped and suffocated all the time because when you love someone, your emotions are so heavy on you that you keep giving them chances hoping that they will change.
What you don’t realize here is that by doing so every single time, they think no matter how they treat you. You will eventually come back to them and will give them another chance.
This is a pattern observed in many abusive relationships. This cycle is so toxic and can impact your emotional and mental well-being.
You will find yourself in a constant dilemma where you don’t want to be with them at the same time, you have this unhealthy attachment where you can’t let them go.
You need to break this pattern and let them know that they cannot take you for granted anymore.
5. Don’t be a Victim
Never think of yourself as a victim by doing so, you are giving them the power to hurt you, and the abuser will think that they have the authority. Power dynamics play a really important role in any relationship.
You both are equals in a relationship, regardless of gender. So never think that you are a victim because this will make you weak emotionally. However, in many cases, it has been observed that the abuser thinks they have a sort of power over you.
The abuser thinks that they can make or break the relationship wherever they want. You have to be strong and not let anyone manipulate you in the name of love.
Moreover, you should know that love is a pure emotion, and it should not feel toxic in any way. You and your partner should have an equal say in your relationship, and there should be a balance
How to Heal in an Abusive Relationship?
Dealing with an abusive relationship can be draining and exhausting. Abuse can come in different forms it can be emotional, physical, mental, or verbal. Moreover, some people don’t even realize when things become toxic and out of control.
But there are always some red flags that you overlook when you are in love as you are being guided by your emotions at this time. So here are a few things that can help you heal in an abusive and toxic relationship.
1. Keep a check on your Mental Health
These days, every other person is dealing with some sort of battle in their own head. Hence this is the reason why the need and awareness regarding mental health have increased.
Moreover, while dealing with such a situation, some scars cannot be shown but leave a deep impact on you. Just like your physical state, your mental health is equally important, and it is also the most affected in such relationships.
So do not hesitate to go and see a therapist and book your appointment for a counseling session. You need to take all those negative emotions out somewhere.
Moreover, if your partner is understanding enough and is willing to work on this relationship. You both can even book a couple of counseling sessions to take professional guidance and help.
Keep this thing in mind that there is absolutely no shame in asking for help or taking professional help. Just like the physical body, your mind also gets exhausted after a time.
However, this can be really helpful and can make you feel a lot better.
2. Identify the Red Flags
Before any relationship becomes abusive, there are always some hints and red flags in that person’s personality that we often overlook due to our attachment and emotions.
Nobody becomes abusive overnight there are always some signs to look out for. For instance, there are researches that have shown that most abuses are related to drug and alcohol addiction.
Moreover, most of the abusers are financially independent, and they feel that they have some sort of power and their partners owe them or rely on them completely.
However, some people have had abusive tendencies from the very beginning, but you somehow overlook it.
So look out for these red flags, and identify their true personality before things get out of hand.
3. Understand and deal with the Emotional Baggage
Some abusive relationships make you so vulnerable that you carry emotional baggage with you. Which affects you and the people attached to you.
It is really easy for others to say move on and to forgive and forget. However, it is really hard to move ahead when something has impacted you so deeply.
However, don’t let this emotional baggage affect your mental state. Don’t be so hard on yourself let your feeling out don’t hold on to that emotional baggage this can impact your future relationships as well.
4. Set your Priorities Right
Love is such an emotion that makes you put the need and happiness of your partner before yours. Hence people with abusive tendencies take advantage of this and manipulate you.
Therefore, it is necessary to set your priorities in place, and there is nothing wrong with making yourself respect your priority.
You should understand that being in love is not about forgetting yourself. Moreover, if someone truly loves you, they will never put you in such circumstances where you have to choose between your love and self-respect.
5. Start Afresh
As per the famous saying, you cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick. Hence, take out some time for yourself and go where you feel the most alive. Take a detour from your regular routine.
If your partner is also making an effort, then go out somewhere and spend some quality time together. You might get that spark back that made you fall in love in the first place.
If you want things to work, then take a fresh start and see this rough phase as a lesson. Learn from this lesson and take a leap of faith.
However, you and your partner both need a moment of self-realization and consider where did you guys go wrong. Moreover, start from the beginning and make mutual efforts if you really want to heal.
The Bottom Line
After reading all about the steps on how to tackle and fix an abusive relationship. However, if things still do not get better, then there is no point in trying. At least you give your all to make this relationship work.
If you are looking for ways to fix this situation itself, this shows how much you want this to work, and if you tried your best, then you should not have any regrets.
Moreover, I understand that it is not easy to let someone go when you have imagined a forever together. But you need to understand that there is nothing more important than your sanity and well-being.
However, sometimes even when a person who has abusive or toxic traits realizes that they are wrong, they will go into a state of denial. Moreover, they might put the blame on you and will make it even hard for you to move on.
Remember, you don’t deserve to go through any kind of abuse in the name of love. No form of attachment is bigger than your self-respect.
