Not always will you come across a person who has been in a relationship. Sometimes, you might find a person really attractive, and this might be their first time coming into a relationship. Everyone has a first time, and this is nothing awkward.
However, if an experienced person gets to date a complete amateur, there are some problems that might arise in the relationship. This makes you feel that you are in a relationship with the wrong person when that is not the case actually.
If you, too, are attracted to or in a relationship with someone who has never been in a relationship, this article is just for you. Here, we will discuss what it feels like to date someone who has never been in a relationship and how you can overcome the troubles that come with this experience.
Table of Contents
Problems With an Inexperienced Person
Sometimes, you might feel like your partner is completely immature and cannot understand your feelings. However, this is not always the case. They might be quite mature but have no experience in dating. So if you are dating someone who has never been in a relationship, mentioned below are a few problems that you might come across.
Men and women are completely different– physically, mentally, and emotionally. In fact, every person has a different personality, and you cannot ask someone to become like you. However, a person who comes into a relationship for the first time tries to change their partner to become like themselves. This causes problems of understanding in the relationship.
While an experienced person might understand that the other person is different and they just have to learn to co-exist, an amateur might not get it. This gives rise to understanding problems in the relationship.
A person who has been single for most or all of their life does not understand the words “responsibility” and “accountability.” They have spent most of their time with their friends and family and have not been answerable to anyone before. This causes communication problems in a relationship, and thus you must enhance communication in the relationship.
While an experienced person understands the importance of talking to their partner and keeping them up-to-date about their whereabouts, an amateur won’t realize its importance. The other person starts feeling that they are not loved, but actually, they are not answered or communicated with on time.
The Basics of a Relationship
The basics of relationships are different for every person. For some, loyalty is the most important, while for others, attention and care are priorities. A person who has been in a relationship understands the basics of a relationship, such as care, attention, and loyalty, and might also know how to make the other person feel special.
On the contrary, the first few months or even years of the relationship are often spent by an inexperienced person, understanding the basics of a relationship. If you are experienced, you are way ahead of them, and they are behind you. This gap often causes problems, and people start believing that things aren’t working out.
A mature person who has been in a relationship will surely understand the importance of giving adequate space and having faith in the other person. They know the fact that jealousy and possessiveness bring out the worst in people and that they should just have trust in the other person.
However, an amateur would always be driven by jealousy and possessiveness and the fear of losing the other person. This fear is eliminated in experienced people due to their past experiences. Thus, jealousy, possessiveness, and other such negative feelings can destroy the relationship, especially if experienced on a scale that is more than normal.
Level Of Maturity
No matter how aged or mature the other person is. Maturity in relationships comes only with experience. A younger person can be more mature than the older one just because of their past experiences in relationships or otherwise. This creates a difference between individuals sometimes.
There are a plethora of factors that drive a relationship. These include giving each other time, lending space, having faith, eliminating negative issues, talking out things and enhancing communication, and much more.
No matter how sensible a person with no prior experience is, they won’t be able to match the level of sensibility an experienced person possesses. This again creates a gap in the level of thinking and maturity, causing fights and problems in a relationship.
In such a situation, the experienced person must have patience and give time to the other person to get on the same level as them. They can teach the basics of a relationship and guide them through the relationship with their personal experience.
Things to Look Out For
When you come into a relationship with someone who has never been in a relationship, you must be cautious and look out for the things mentioned below.
They are probably scared.
If your partner is a newcomer to the world of dating, they are probably scared and have relationship stress. They desperately want to make it work and have a lot of pressure on themselves to keep you happy. They aspire for everything to be perfect, and there is also competition in their mind to perform well than their exes.
You need to ensure that these problems do not hinder your love life. Here, you can help them with a smooth transition by taking things slow. You must remember what it felt like to be in a relationship for the first time and the questions you had in mind. It would be better for you to treat them the way you wish you were treated your first time.
Their speed might vary.
Sometimes, a person is too excited when they are in a relationship for the first time. Consequently, they start moving pretty fast instead of taking things slow. In other cases, people tend to move pretty slowly with the relationship, which becomes annoying for their partner.
In this case, you need to be honest with them regarding your expectations and convey if they are going too fast or too slow. You can explain to them the perfect idea of a relationship according to you, and both of you can come to a consensus about the speed of your relationship.
They might lack communication skills.
A person who has been alone for most of their life starts burying things deep inside their heart. An amateur in a relationship might not be aware of the essence of communication in a relationship. In such circumstances, you need to help them open up with you.
It will take some time, but once you become comfortable talking to each other frankly, things become easier. You do not need to teach them communication skills completely, but it will be of great help if you are there to support them while they brush up on their skills.
They might not know anything about relationships.
While some of us grow up watching romantic movies and think that we know everything about love, our partner might not be aware of relationships. In such a case, it becomes our responsibility to teach them everything from scratch.
Thus, we need to communicate our likings, dislikings, requirements, and expectations and then expect them to go forward with the relationship accordingly. While you do not have to become their full-time tutor or teach them everything, you can help them with the basics and let them catch on with everything by themselves.
Tips for Dating Someone Who Has Never Been In A Relationship
If you want to ensure that their lack of dating experience does not become a problem for your relationship, you need to take a few steps in your love life. Mentioned below are a few tips on how to date someone who has never been in a relationship.
Talk Openly About Your Feelings
You can either wait till your partner understands your feelings, or you can help them understand them quicker by talking openly. Learning about each other is a slow process, but it can become a little faster and easier if you choose to communicate.
Whenever you feel bad about something, or good about some instance, you must mention it. You must highlight what habits of them make you feel bad and what are their plus points. This communication can help you both generate realistic expectations of each other and also fulfill them.
Not all days are good, and not every time of the relationship is the initial period that will give you butterflies. While you might feel good in the beginning that your partner is putting in a great effort, with time, you might feel a reduction in the effort. This is natural and human nature, and you must be patient about it.
Also, if your partner needs time to get to your level of understanding, you need to be patient with them. If they are unable to understand you, it doesn’t mean that they are bad. Instead, you must give them more time.
If you feel that your partner’s inexperience in relationships is making him confused and perplexed most of the time, you must take charge. Your experience will do good to the relationship only if you stay in charge and decide to do things the best way.
Your experience here is a plus as you will know what mistakes to avoid and how to handle circumstances the better way. Teach them the essence of fights, love, communication, faith, and all the other aspects of love and a relationship.
Make use of your experiences.
So what if your partner isn’t experienced; at least you are! If your partner feels comfortable learning about your experience, you can make this relationship better than the previous ones. You can avoid mistakes done in the past and handle situations in a better way with your sensibility and intelligence.
However, it is also not a good idea to always talk about your past experiences in front of your present beau, as it might offend them. After all, you are talking about your ex-lovers, which might ignite jealousy in them!
Appreciate their efforts
You should acknowledge that your partner is trying their best to meet your expectations, despite having no experience in relationships. Therefore, you must appreciate the efforts they make and notice every little thing they do or improvement they make.
This will encourage them to move forward in the direct direction and make more good efforts in the good interest of the relationship. The guys who date for the first time are quite conscious, and your appreciation or ignorance can either make or break their confidence for their lifetime.
Address their insecurities
It is evident for a complete newbie to have insecurities, knowing the fact that you have been in relationships in your past. Also, being an amateur, they do not have complete control over their emotions and might often burst out with jealousy, insecurity, or possessiveness.
In such a case, you can help ease their insecurities by addressing them from time to time.
They might also feel that you don’t love them enough or give them sufficient attention, and paranoia is among the top feelings when dating for the first time. Thus, you can eliminate all these problems by paying special attention to the details.
It is important to grow together in a relationship, whether your partner is experienced or not. Every new relationship is like another chance to excel in your love life, and you should not just give away a chance just because your partner is inexperienced.
Every relationship has its problems, and no relationship can ever be perfect. We need to come out of unrealistic expectations set by the cinema and live a true and honest life for an amazing love life.
While dating someone who has never been in a relationship might be a challenge sometimes, it is not always a wrong decision. A little patience, consistency, and a lot of love might do the trick!