Is fighting healthy in a relationship? It is one of the most asked questions when we talk about the ways of managing a relationship. It does not matter whether you fight or not; relationships are always different for different people.
You and I just cannot set a boundary saying that this should not be done and this should be done. Each couple sorts things out in their own way.
So, it’s better that we be more patient in our romantic relationships and understand the fact that what we see on social media is not always true.
Relax! Fighting is normal. It’s just like fighting with your siblings or sometimes even your parents. It is very foolish to think that the person you love can never disagree with you on anything.
You need to remember that you two are different individuals with different values. So, it is very important that you respect each other’s boundaries and grow as individuals and as a couple.
Moreover, there’s a very thin line between fighting in a healthy way and in a toxic way. So, let’s find out what the traits are that ensure the good health of your relationship.
1. You Don’t Fight Without Any Reason
Fighting is normal and healthy. But fighting without reason or over a petty thing is definitely a problem. But how can we know whether the fight is valid or not? It’s pretty simple.
Are you fighting over something that is serious and needs to be acknowledged or something petty like who the girl was whom your boyfriend was looking at?
Come on! You are not even sure whether he looked or not! If he did, there’s a more convenient and healthy way to handle this situation.
See, there are two types of situations. In the healthier one, you will fight over a disagreement that you guys had over their behavioral changes.
The toxic one is when you or your partner fight because you or they are not in a good mood and you have become intolerant to each other.
Mood swings are normal, but they are not worthy of fighting over. So, is your girlfriend fighting with you for something that you have never done? It’s a red flag.
The best way to solve this problem is to sit and talk calmly. See if they’re willing to talk to you with the same patience as yours or not. If they don’t, you know what to do.
2. You Respect Each Other While Fighting
Fight in a relationship is needed sometimes, but what is not needed is disrespect. Disrespecting each other while fighting is not the right way to fight.
Yes, I get it; you get angry and never notice what you are saying to the other person. But it’s high time that you start paying attention to this.
It’s not about thinking before saying all the time. Sometimes, you can be rude but not disrespectful. Rather than cursing each other and shouting. You can just argue, considering the fact that it’s just a disagreement, not a death or life situation.
The fight gets over, but the relationship stays. So, go on, share your thoughts, disagree on something, do a heated argument, but that should never cross the basic limit of decency.
How to do it? Suppose you are very angry, and you just want to prove your point no matter what happens, and you are about to say something that is very disrespectful. Stop and give it a thought first.
It’s hard. I know! But someone has to do it, right? Disrespecting someone while fighting gives birth to a whole new set of problems and arguments. The list never ends. So, fight respectfully.
Moreover, if your partner takes care of your dignity, it’s damn healthy!
3. You Don’t Hold Grudges
Do you Guys always talk to each other nicely and forget about the fight each time? You are doing good!
Holding grudges is one of the worst things that could ever happen in a relationship. Fight in a relationship is healthy, but if you hold grudges after that, sorry, dear! You guys are being toxic.
Listen, I get it; you are really upset with each other and just can’t get the thought out of your head.
But that does not mean that you will let the thought make you create a wrong perception of the person. It happens; we only see the flaws of others; it’s human nature. But that doesn’t mean it is the right thing to do.
Next time, if you feel like that something is stuck in your head about the last argument and the apology wasn’t enough, go on and talk to your partner about this. This way, the negative thoughts will eventually dissolve.
4. You Sort Things Out
No matter how badly you fight in a relationship, if you sit together in the end, you guys sit and make an effort to forget everything and come to a solution; trust me, you guys are perfect.
It does not matter how ugly the fight was and how long the fight was; if it gets resolved in the end and in a healthy way, it’s all worth it.
A person who does not end arguments in a healthy way and acts like nothing has happened the next morning is actually invalidating their partner’s feelings.
It’s simple, fight, resolve and repeat.
5. You Don’t Stretch the Argument
No! Don’t do it. Stretching the argument is not the right thing to do. So, the situation is like this.
Suppose your partner and you had a fight, you apologized, and the issue was resolved. But after some time, you see that they are not done yet, and they keep bringing up the same topic again and again.
This is called stretching the argument and not being willing to solve anything. These kinds of things emotionally drain people and can have a longer effect on your mind. So, keep things simple.
6. They Don’t Make You Feel Unloved
Fighting in a relationship is not making your partner feel unloved. See, it’s normal to feel a little bit irritated and not want to talk to your partner. For some time, it’s okay. But if this space lasts for a long time, there’s a problem.
Suppose you and your partner had a fight, and the very next day, you need to go for a medical check-up. If your partner doesn’t accompany you just because they are angry, you guys need to work on your relationship.
So, make sure that even if you guys are angry with each other, you never lose courtesy and always help each other out. Yes, even if you are angry.
So, as yourself, the question is, do you guys take revenge on each other? If yes, stop it now. You are doing nothing but making the situation more complicated.
It is okay to feel angry and upset for a longer period of time, but that doesn’t mean that you will stretch the problems and fight over and over again.
Making feel unloved means that you make your partner feel that they are unworthy of your love and attention. So, fight and don’t ignore.
7. You Know Your Partner Better Now
See, anything comes with a purpose, and fighting is no exception. See, when we say that space and fights are important in a relationship, we don’t mean that fight only but also the consequences.
Fight, and the space afterward makes us realize how important the other person is in that relationship, and we should never take them for granted.
Moreover, if you don’t know what your partner likes or dislikes or how they react in different situations, you don’t know them well. So, when you disagree with someone over anything, it shows how they react and handle situations.
So, if you are having fights nowadays, you guys are actually growing strong in your relationship. It will not only bring you closer but also make you understand each other better.
But yes, don’t forget to sort things out before it’s too late. Fights in a relationship are normal, but that does not mean that you will normalize it so much that you start ignoring your partner’s feelings and the situation.
Try to do it this way, after having a fight, give some space. Later, let them and you communicate about their feelings and respectfully find out a solution.
8. You are Not Afraid to Communicate Your Thoughts
So, what’s the best way to say whether the fight you are having with your partner is toxic or not? If from the next time, you hesitate to communicate your opinion, it means that their behavior or the things they have said have had a deeper impact.
If this is happening to you, you need to speak up. If you don’t communicate about the fear that has already developed in you, it’s gonna ruin everything that you guys created together.
So how to stop it? In this case, you need to take each step carefully. The simplest things can hurt your partner a lot.
Furthermore, if you feel that your partner has been behaving reservedly for the past few months and avoids the topic when asked. You can take things slow and allow them to open up.
The best thing is to take some time off and plan a beautiful date. After having a great time together, you can then go on and put the table on the question. If the answer is yes. Be as polite as possible and apologize to them.
In addition, let them speak their heart out and don’t interrupt. The only thing they want is to be heard.
9. You Don’t Fight Over the Same Thing
Fighting is a positive thing but over the same thing is not at all a positive thing. If you guys are suffering from problems and having constant fights, but the situation is not going anywhere, there’s something wrong.
As I have already told you, if your quarrels are not giving you anything positive, there’s no point. Just think about it. We argue so that we can agree on something. If it’s not happening, you need to take another path.
Do you feel that your partner is not willing to work on the issues, and all they do is fight and forget the entire discussion? You need to acknowledge that and communicate properly about this.
It’s simple, just go and tell them that having fights over the same thing is not only draining to you, but it is hampering the charm and spark of the relationship. So, it is better that you two work on the issues rather than fighting.
Remember, if you two are willing to work on it, nothing can stop you from doing that.
10. You Two Apologize at the End
Asking for an apology is very important. Thinking that you don’t need to apologize for the fight. You are mistaking it. Don’t do it; you are just fueling your ego. The best thing you can do in your relationship is to apologize for your mistakes.
Moreover, it is also important to forgive. If you can’t forgive the other person for their mistake, the situation will never get better. You two might feel stuck and feel unworthy of each other.
So, it’s okay to indulge in arguments if you apologize. You are doing so? Well done!
So, what have you decided? Hey! Don’t panic! It’s fine to have agreements, disagreements, be mad at each other, etc. But what is not okay is to feel that having these things means toxicity.
Relationships are not always happy and romantic. It also comes with ups and downs, challenges, and darker days when you feel like quitting. Those couples who rise through it ultimately win the battle.
Want to know more about toxic relationships? This article might help you – How to Deal with an Abusive Relationship? Read it, but yes, don’t relate anything unnecessarily to your partner.
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