In this generation where forever is just a myth, and love stories are just to be seen on screen. How to know if your avoidant partner wants to work on your relationship is something that most people struggle with.
As no one wants a partner who is not willing to go the extra mile for you. However, everyone has their own way of expressing their feeling. Moreover, everyone has a different love language. There is a difference between unexpressive and avoidant, you need to figure this out.
Maybe your partner has some issues, which is why they are not able to express themself. Maybe they are introverted or have never been in a relationship before. You know your partner the best, and you also might know the reason why they are avoidant.
Don’t be disheartened; you are not alone in this. Many of us have been in similar situations where we don’t know if our partner actually wants this relationship as much as we do.
Thus, today in this article, we are going to discuss some signs that truly reflect that your partner is willing to work on this relationship.
1. They are willing to make Adjustments for you
They are willing to make adjustments just to be with you, even if it is inconvenient for them. Whether it’s going to meet your friends in a different part of the city. Or going to some event or concert that you are really excited about, even if they are not much interested.
If they are waking up early just to drop you off at work or just to spend some time with you. These things might not seem like sacrifices, but they make an effort to make you feel special. However, love is not about the grand gestures or gifts it’s about these little moments of care and joy.
Moreover, if they are going that extra mile just to make you smile. It definitely means they are willing to work on this relationship, and they are here to stay. This reminds me of the next sign.
2. Your Happiness is Important to them
Little things like they listen to your playlist while driving. Or they are buying movie tickets for the one you want to watch. Furthermore, they remember your taste and are willing to give you a company even if they don’t like it.
They let you pick the place for dinner. All these little things add so much to a relationship and can make a big difference. If your partner adjusts the ac temperature according to your preference. I know it might not sound such a huge deal, but it shows that they care for you.
3. They look forward to spending time together
If they plan a trip with you months in advance, it shows they value your time. However, anyone can take you away for a weekend or ask you out over a cup of coffee.
But for someone to actually put effort into planning weeks before the trip. This shows that they are looking forward to spending time with you. Moreover, they like being in your company and want to spend some quality time with you.
They will plan everything beforehand and put effort into making the most of it. It shows they are looking to invest time in you and are willing to work on this relationship.
4. They are your biggest Cheerleader
Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader. As relationships are about growing together and supporting each other throughout. Thus, if they got your back and applauded you for your achievements. Then they are the ones for you.
However, it is extremely important to have a partner who is supportive of your dreams and cheers you up to keep growing. Moreover, there are already enough people out there to pull you down.
Your partner should be your strength, and you know that you can rely on them no matter what. If you are playing a football match and they are watching, they are cheering for you. This will give you a boost of confidence, and you know you have to give your best.
5. Fights have less Ultimatus
If a person is uncertain about you and this relationship, every fight will be a threat to your relationship. If a regular argument can be relationship-threatening, you know it’s not going to last.
It’s okay to fight even in a healthy relationship, but they will never doubt their bond. Hence, if they are willing to work on this, they will never give up on you. Or give you ultimatums that they will leave you after every fight.
In a healthy relationship, you don’t walk away so easily. There should never be a moment of doubt that your bond is not worth it. Accept that fighting is normal, but giving threats is not.
6. They make you a Priority
They will make you a priority and will invest their time in you. More than any resource, time is the most valuable thing one can give you. Thus, if they want to make this relationship work, they will make you a priority.
Moreover, they might not be vocal or expressive, but they know how to make you feel special. They will make all the adjustments just to give their all in this relationship. This shows what you mean to them and how much they value this bond.
7. You both open up to each other
Open communication is the key to a healthy relationship. However, If you share open communication with your partner, it’s the only way to get through all the hardships and struggles.
You both can talk to each other without having any fear of judgment. However, some people are more private than others, even in intimate relationships. Thus, give them time to open up; they might have a reserved nature.
Some people struggle with trust issues and find it hard to open up to their partners. So take it slow and understand each other first. Moreover, in order to make a relationship work, you need to have open communication. It depends on both partners to allow each other to open up.
8. If they recognize the issues and are willing to work on them
The very first step of solving an issue is acknowledging that there is a problem. However, if your partner understands the issues that you are facing and is willing to work on them. It’s a clear sign that they want this relationship to work and are also taking steps to solve them.
Whether it’s going to therapy or just having a heart-to-heart conversation with each other. Whatever works for you if they want to make this work. They will surely take all the steps required to solve the problem.
Moreover, this shows that they are not going to give up on you. You should also recognize their effort and give your all to this relationship.
Sings your Partner does not want to Work on this Relationship
Here are the red flags that indicate that your partner is not willing to work on this relationship. These are some clear signs which show that your partner is being avoidant for a reason and might not see a future with you.
1. They are dominant and very jealous
Being jealous is a natural human tendency. While it’s completely normal to feel envious from time to time. However, it can become an issue if their jealousy is affecting your growth and making you feel suffocated in this relationship.
Jealousy is normal, even in a healthy relationship. However, it can become a major concern when they keep on speculating and start being insecure about everything. This can entirely destroy any relationship.
If your partner doesn’t trust you. Moreover, If your partner always asks you where you are? If they feel frustrated or offended when you don’t respond to a Text message right away or text you repeatedly until you do. This shows their insecurity and lack of faith in you.
These actions are the clear result of jealousy or a lack of trust. However, this can also be a desire to control, which can lead to relationship toxicity. Over a period of time, this trait can become so toxic and can even take the form of abuse.
Avoidant partners may seek ways to avoid being present when you need them the most. They will blame you for any problem that you are having in this relationship. However, they will never take responsibility for their actions and will play the blame game.
Such people avoid situations and are never there when you need them the most. You need to understand why they are like this, they might have some abandonment issues or past traumas. Which led them to become avoidant.
Such avoidant people have a mindset that no one will be there for them and that they will be left alone in the end. Moreover, they have this notion that others will not want them to thrive or will not let them be themselves.
However, an avoidant person also has this perception that they might not be enough for someone. As a result, they isolate themselves for their own sanity.
3. They don’t know the meaning of unconditional love
Your partner might have strict standards and rules and find it difficult to adjust or express themself. Moreover, they will be very particular about how you should behave, and they have a lot of expectations from you. Moreover, they don’t know the meaning of unconditional love.
From the very beginning of the relationship, they will be clear about what they want from this relationship. Such as declaring, “I will never change for anyone,” and then expecting you to change for them.
However, everyone wants to be practical today. But there is a difference between being practical and selfish. Moreover, you can’t put conditions on love.
4. Commitment phobic
If they feel anxious about planning a future with you or giving your relationship a tag. They may not feel secure in themselves and are concerned about how a relationship may affect their identity.
However, they will reflect their own insecurities on you. Fear of Commitment can also be indicated by a phobia of losing freedom and losing out on other experiences.
They might have commitment anxiety as they see relationships as a form of prison. Moreover, they might be dealing with some past issues or carrying baggage from past relationships. Whatever their reasons might be but they have a fear of becoming ‘us’ instead of ‘I.’
5. Do not want to invest their time in you
They may still have thoughts or feelings for their ex-partner in such a way that a past relationship feels incomplete, unresolved, or still alive in the present, making them less emotionally open to you. However, your avoidant might not have got closure from their last relationship.
However, this tendency may also make them act impulsively, and they might be very aggressive or fuzzy at times.
Moreover, the more you become close to them or want to have a deeper connection, the more they may withdraw themself and run away from you.
Furthermore, they might still be looking for their ex in you, or they might not want to invest in this relationship as much as they did in their earlier one.
6. They do not include you in their Future plans
Being in a relationship with an avoidant partner is not easy, and the biggest sign that they don’t want this relationship to work is that they won’t plan a future together. Even the smallest plans, like going on a vacation or planning a weekend, don’t involve you.
Moreover, they will plan according to their own convenience. You will not have any say in them. However, if your partner is someone who likes to go alone and be by themself instead of prioritizing quality time with you. Trust me, they don’t value the time you spend with them.
7. They do not prioritize you
If you are just an option for your partner rather than a priority. It’s not worth your time and effort. If they can’t make you feel special and keep you as their top priority. Then it’s clear they don’t want to put in any extra effort for you.
Love is all about keeping your partner’s needs before you and if they are not willing to do so. Then it’s better to let them be and make them realize your worth.
The Bottom Line
Everyone has their own way of expressing love and a different love language. If your partner is avoidant, it’s not an issue to worry about. This might just be a phase. However, the above-listed sign will definitely help you out if they are being avoidant on purpose or if they actually want this relationship to work.
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